Ten(10) twilight fanfics: including Edward Cullen: Dick for Hire,it's sequel The Dick in Me,Vines, and Meet the Masens.
I got to sit down with FictionFreak95 (aka Jo) and ask her a ton of questions! The Dick may have even made an appearance later on! *eyebrow wiggle*
Tell us a little about yourself.
So how did you come up with your penname?
Well, this particular one happened along because I’m a freak (ask anyone), and I like to write fiction. and I moved to FL in ‘95. *yawns* I know, boring.
How does Mr Jo feel about you writing? Do you let him read your lemons?
Mr. Jo doesn’t mind the writing but wishes I’d write an o-fic for a change and make money off of it. Little does he know, I’m just not that talented. but yes! he reads the lemons... lately he’s very judgemental, too. *eyeballs Mr. Jo*
How do you manage your time with real life, Mr Jo, Your Who’s, and writing?
It’s one great big balancing act that includes getting up early, taking breaks from work, using lunch breaks, and then writing if everyone is out of the house... Little Who is the biggest challenge, she still likes me and wants my attention like... always. But it all works out, somehow.
Where in the world do you reside? Is where you live reflected in your stories? And if not, how do you research locations for your stories?
Where I used to live is included in some of my stories... I grew up in the DC metropolitan area so that was my research... I’ve only been to Napa and Austin, TX so I don’t have extensive data on those areas... but I have enough to be dangerous and scary with my scenes.... I haven’t written about my current area as of yet... Flor’dah... but you never know. ;)
What else do in your free time?
*blank stare* …. I’m sorry, what?
What does your (non-ff) reading list look like?
There’s a couple of authors I stop everything for (even fan fiction), one is Jim Butcher, the other is Sarah Addison Allen. I’ll pretty much pick up any supernatural/fantasy type story and start reading it but a lot of times I end up putting it down and deciding its just not for me. I was really happy to find The Hunger Games. They really stuck with me and I dare say they have surpassed certain other series as one of my faves for the time being.
Man, side note. Am I a mouthy motherfucker or what? Sorry about that.
Tell us about your introduction into the Twilight World.
How did you first get into the Saga?
I found it through my book club! December 2008. There, that was shorter.
Which book is your favorite? And why?
I love love love Eclipse. I loved the banter, I loved seeing Edward showing more of his possessive side and I adored the tent scene like no other.
How many times have you read the books?
Not nearly as many times as some others I know, but at least four times each. Maybe more for book 1 because I had that a while before getting a hold of book 2.
What is your favorite/least favorite part of the series? Why?
The whole ending - I guess most of Breaking Dawn... and no, not because of the fade to black, although that had a lot to do with my initial annoyance but then... I dunno... the baby... the imprinting... the fight at the end where there really wasn’t a fight.... I just thought she sold herself short, it felt thrown together. (still adore the story though)
How long have you been in the fandom?
Too long. LOL, no... since July 2009
What got you to start reading Twilight Fanfiction?
I was obsessed with it all... found a site called newmoonmovie.org and played with the ladies on there for a while before I heard the word “Fan Fiction” being thrown around... I asked some of the ladies about it and then sent me the link to Wide Awake.
Do you read any other FanFiction categories other than Twilight?
OH! I’m so glad you asked this. YES. The Hunger Games and Supernatural, if I can find good ones. They are hard to come by. And most of the SPN stories are slash... and I just... I can’t. Not with my boys.
Do you remember the first Twi-FanFiction story you read?
Wide Awake. I’ll never forget it.
What’s your favorite genre of Twi-FanFiction stories?
I like human that doesn’t stick to the same old same old... that doesn’t throw sex in for the sake of smut and makes me a believer in what’s being written. But when I find a good vamp story, I’m all in as well. Some of them still give me goosebumps just thinking about them *coughs* In the Shadow of Your Heart... Beyond the Seventh Circle *coughs*
What are a few of your favorite stories and why?
All time favorites that still stick with me:
HEART BREAKERS: The Practice of Love, Sundowners, The Journal, The Red Line.
THEY MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF: Fridays at Noon, Becoming Bella Swan (really, anything by the Flanster), DoUTrustMe (although she’s gone, she is sorely missed), Finding Bree Tanner, The Best I Ever Had, Rubbish!
JUST ALL AROUND GOOD: Learn you Inside Out, Do Over, A Pound of Flesh.... I could keep going if you want.
Who are your favorite characters? Character pairing? Villain?
Favorite character is prolly Edward... always... he’s just too much fun. Favorite pairing... errr... ExB. :) and favorite villian would have to be... Jane and Alec, because they really are just... creepy.
Do you have a favorite “Ward”?
Something about a Broken-ward. I don’t know why. I like watching him get fixed. So to speak. ;)
Do you have a favorite lemon that you have read?
Hmmmm. *thinking* I’d have to go back to way back in the day b/c it’s the one that always seems to stick out in my head for some reason... but... THE OFFICE*’s very first scene? It’s a toss up between that and the Lingerie department.
*Please note that The Office has been pulled, but there are copies floating around.
I know a lot of people that don’t like to read fics without smut. Do you have a preference of smut vs non-smut?
I just want it to be good. I don’t need the overly done smut though, no thank you, I prefer a plot. A good plot that is. The sex (well written sex that is) is just the icing on top of that kind of a story for me. Ya know?
Are you reading any stories right now? Any that are owning you so hard that you have to read immediately upon getting the alert email?
There is a Light. Owns. My. Soul. OY. That and F@N’s sequel (as did F@N,), and In Your World, and In the Shadow of Your Heart...and man, the list goes on and on. Pretty much, what’s in my faves is everything I make time to read. But yeah, those are prolly my tops right now.
What made you decide to start writing your own?
Short story is, I got tired of waiting for Angst Goddess to come back from Hiatus. Plot bunnies abounded so, I wrote.
What kind of atmosphere do you need while you write? Quiet? Music?
Quiet, most of the time, that’s when I can really crank it out, but when music for the story is playing, that helps, and sometimes... sometimes I can block out the background noise in the house. But I like quiet.
Do you have any writing rituals? Eating? Drinking? Smoking? Sitting at a coffee house?
Don’t smoke... but something crunchy is usually around... and Pepsi Max is always next to me. That’s about it.
What is your writing process? Do you outline, write as you go, or something different?
It depends on the story. I’ve done all of the above. The Dick for instance... outline outline outline... Kuhmasen was fly by the seat of my pants... Vines... maybe was a little of both... and the Masens are.... out of control right now.
Does anyone in your real life know that you write? And if so, what do they think?
They know I write... they think I’m cray cray for not just writing my own novel but you know.. .again... *not gonna say it*
How did you meet your beta?
Suebee thundercocks-ho and I met through the Emergency Beta People - she and I clicked and she really “heard” Vineward’s voice - so she didn’t wanna change exactly how I wrote it, just how I spelled things. LOL ;) I love her.
Do you have a hard limit in reading and/or writing? If so, what is it?
I guess so... I don’t write BDSM or any of that... unless I’m being funny... not that I wouldn’t read it, if it was well done, but I think sometimes it goes a little too far, isn’t very realistic as far as love and abuse and all that. I also don’t believe I will ever be writing an ass fuck. Sorry... *clenches butt cheeks together* but ow. Oh, and I will never in a million years read a fic where Edward is a rapist or a Pedophile. Sorry. Just not gonna do it.
What is your favorite/least favorite part of a story to write, i.e. lemon, angst, fluff, other?
Hmmmm... I think fun (fluff?). I mean, even if I’m *trying* to write angst, funny always rears it’s head. Things just pop up and I put my characters into situations that make me laugh... because I want others to laugh more I guess.
Can you share with us, how you deal with negative reviews, abusive PM’s, and just plain ‘ole nasty people?
Do you have a year? Just kidding. Um. I used to have a hard time with this, but I think as you go along your merry way in this fandom, you either sink or you swim (or drown... or fake your own death... but I digress). Luckily, I am an excellent swimmer... Now, luckily, I don’t have to deal with as much of this as I used to, because I try very... VERY hard to distance myself from crazy people. But every once in a while, they sneak up on you - I just try to keep it real. I try to ignore, but if they won’t be ignored... The Dick comes out to play.
Do your reviewers influence your writing? If so, how?
Not so much in the sense that they affect the plot or anything but definitely. Especially lately *coughs* fake teasers *coughs* - if I’m chatting with people and something hilarious comes up or someone says something completely ridiculous, I tell them I’m totally adding that to the chapter... it’s been fun to laugh at afterwards, when they see it and remember the conversation(s).
Do you have any advice for someone sitting down to write their first FanFiction story?
Please. Please. PLEASE do not try to write sex if you’ve never had sex. Seriously. It’s awkward. LOL. But other than that, just... have fun. Don’t write what you think everyone ELSE wants to read... write what you think would be fun to do. Quantum Fizzx (I think I spelled that correctly) I think is a great example of this. She just started blabbering little chapters real time about Edward and Bella’s encounters.... next thing you know... someone found it extraordinary...then someone else did.. .and so on and so on... then it exploded. It was phenominal to watch.
General Questions about your stories.
It seems to me, and maybe I’m wrong, that you like writing in EPOV. Why is that?
Ya know, I don’t know. I mean, I can’t put my finger on it. When I was little, I always liked to be the hero when we played pretend... and back then the heroes were always boys...or men, whatever... I just feel like I hear him more in my head. Maybe I’m really a man, I don’t know. *zoikes*
Do you have an updating schedule that you try to stick to in your own mind?
I like to update when updating is possible. Sometimes that’s once a week, sometimes more... lately, less.... not my fault, I swear. But I generally like to stick to once a week.
SUMMARY:When Private Eye Edward Cullen decides to investigate the "accidental death" of an old friend, he finds more people are involved then he originally theorized as the case takes twists & turns he never saw coming after Bella Swan arrives in town. AH, BxE.
A continuation of "Edward Cullen, Dick for Hire" - What happens when the love of your life becomes your partner in crime solving? AH, BxE
What, if anything, would you change about either Dick for Hire or Dick in Me?
I don’t think I would change one single thing about Dick for Hire or the Dick in Me. Maybe I’d go back and get Sue to beta the damn thing for me, but other than that, I happen to have liked where it all went. The Dick in Me was a completely different story in that, they weren’t playing cat and mouse anymore... they already had each other, so exploring how they both dealt with that relationship, on top of living with each other... on top of running cases together... that was fun.
What is your favorite part of this fic?
Man, there were lots of parts I call favorites... I don’t know how to pin point anything... but I truly liked Cullen’s talks with Pup, and his relationship with Seth.
What made you write such suspenseful murder mysteries?
I like murder mysteries. A lot. I read them growing up and still do. Plus it was fun to twist and turn things and see just how fucked up I could make Cullen’s life without quite breaking him.
So...Dick is a Daddy now? How’s the squirty poo up the back outtake coming? haha!
LMFAO! Oh, I supposed we must wait to see! Right?
Are we going to see anymore outtakes from The Dick?
I don’t know. I hope so, there’s days I think... no more and there’s days I hear him, plain as day going … oh... this would be so fucked. up. WRITE IT.
SUMMARY:After years of running away, Edward Cullen finds himself back at his family's Napa Valley vineyard. What should have been a short trip & quick sell of an old run down crop turns into one of the hardest decisions he never thought he'd have to make. AH, BxE
What is your favorite part of this fic?
The end. No question. I still cry.
Is there anything that you would change?
Maybe. *insert evil grin here*
The girls over on FB are requesting VineBabies...are there going to be any VineBabies outtakes?
There most certainly, without a doubt, hopefully will be a vinesbaby outtake.. or two. I swear it on Carlisle’s dead body.
More than just VineBabies outtakes, will we be seeing anymore from these two?
I don’t think so. I really think that story ended perfectly, I still get a lump in my throat when I listen to “Not Broken” by the GooGoo dolls and I would never ever want to try and ruin a good thing like that … for me anyway. Near and dear... ya know?
Where did you get the idea for Vines?
I have visited Napa 3 times in the past recent years. I love it there. It’s so freaking romantic it kills me... And the last time I went, I was in the middle of The Dick in Me... contemplating flouncing because I was so frustrated... we were driving through Sonoma actually and I was watching the vineyards go by. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. The story started right there. I envisioned it so clearly and was dying b/c I had nothing to write on... and I just prayed I didn’t forget all the ideas I was getting before we got home and I could type it all up on the lappy top.
Did you have to research all of the wine facts, or are you just that amazing and know them all?
LMFAO! I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again... I only know enough to be ridiculous. And Google and Youtube are my friends. I definitely researched a lot of that. I’m excellent researcher.
Meet The Masens
SUMMARY:Edward Cullen was done with cons until Marcus Volturi pulled him back in for one more job with his new front man, Bella Swan. Edward wants out for good but in a world based on deceit, who can he trust? AH BxE possible lemons if they don't kill each other
What is your favorite part of this fic?
It hasn’t happened yet. :D
Is there anything that you would change?
I would have outlined it a little further before starting it. LOL But sometimes, I get antsy. I can’t help myself.
This is your current WiP, yes? How many chapters do you forsee this being?
Yes it is... and um... I forsee about 20 or so? I always low ball it... I have no idea if you should hold me to that. Here’s hoping for the best!
Are we going to find out what is going on with Bella and her “other” phone?
2 words: Secksy Times? Coming soon?
If they don’t die first. *gasp* um... *shakes toy* the magic 8 ball says... YES.
How long until we get to the prologue?
Umm... *counting*.... this is a good question, the prologue will definitely happen before the end... maybe... 7 or 8? again, don’t hold me to that.
Where did you get the idea for Masen from? I love him!
He is... kind of a morph, of about 5 other story ideas I’ve been wanting to explore. Do you know that movie, “The Brothers Bloom”? You’ll see it mentioned very soon in the story... anyway, when I saw that, I saw Edward. And I’m totally not saying the story is exactly “Like” the movie... so don’t hold me to that either. LOL It’s just where I started thinking about him.
My Life, My Love, My Heart
SUMMARY:One shot - based on a very bad day dream. When tragedy strikes, how will you deal with it? BxE Uber Angst.
I can already tell you that people are going to ask why I am asking about this one-shot...It’s just a one-shot, why would I have questions about it...the quick answer is that you wrote it, so why not? The longer answer is that the topic of this one-shot scares me more than anything else and I just had to bring it up. So with that said, tell me about what made you write this one-shot.
HA! Well, I’m one of those people who is always having daymares. Nightmares, but not while I’m sleeping, about really fucked up shit like that happening. I scare myself to tears sometimes. I wrote it because I thought and thought and thought about it until finally I thought, maybe if I write it, I’ll get it out of my head... and you know what? I kinda did. LOL
As much as it kills me to ask this, have you ever thought of giving us another chap to let us know how Bella and Edward are doing after the tragedy?
I actually have. I don’t know who would read it... but I have thought about it. Where do they go after that? How do they survive. But I have no idea when that might get written. It would be interesting to “go there”... now that I’ve done Vines... at least I know I’m on my way to being able to “go there”.
obsmama asks: (oh lord)
About Vines: Since the story revolved around Edwards time off from the army vs any actual military plot have you ever considered writing a story based on the Military?
*makes raspberry noises with lips*.... I think it would be fun... but it would take a … LOT of fucking research.... I just don’t know if I have that kinda time. But nnnnf. Maybe a pre-quel!!!! omg Corie. SHUT. UP.
In general: What character that you have written has stayed the most with you? Also what character have you read that you still think about to this day?
Oddly enough, Vineward stays with me the most... on the level of... he kinda broke my heart. I can’t explain that... but he did. I love him so much, and Bella actually.... and as far as who I still think about... The Dick... of course, because that sonofabitch just never... shuts... the fuck.... UP.
About The Dick: So if you had to really pinpoint what/who your inspiration for Dick's personality is/was... what/who would it be?
OH, this is so easy peasy. LOL! Me. Kinda. I’m highly sarcastic. It was my upbringing... someone hurts your feelers, you tell them to fuck off...and thank you very much by the goddamn way.... And when I lived up in the DC area, people cursed like sailors every day, it was completely normal to say “What the fuck are you lookin’ at?” as you passed someone or “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me with this shit” when your day was pissy... so I guess he’s like an extremely exaggerated version of DC’ers. DC’inians? People who live in DC.
About Vines: Since you already did it once (don't wanna give away the ending- but Jo you know exactly what i'm talking about) WHY WON'T YOU GIVE US MORE?!?!?!
LMFAO! killing me. I wanna, you know I wanna. I just can’t at this particular moment in time. *love me*
About Cullen, Unscripted: Have you ever thought of some how continuing this? Maybe an outtake? Maybe a look into the future?
Kuhmasen is … a very specific voice. It was easy to do him... he’s just very laid back - honestly, I don’t know where I’d take that story if I was to continue it.... he was just a fun “fling” if you will. LOL that I wrote during a time I was trying to get myself back to enjoying writing. It worked. But if you have something in mind, my friend... you know I’ll explore it. ;)
In general: Which Edward is your favorite? Which Bella is your favorite? Which EMMETT is your favorite? (can you tell which question i wanna know the answer to most?) -MzB xo
*DED* - easy also. Edward - is prolly a tie. Vines & the Dick.... Bella - VINES, hands down. and Emmett, definitely Cullen, Unscripted Emmett. And hmph! You didn’t wanna know which Jasper? :D LMFAO *coughs* naked Jasper *coughs*
Cullen Concession asks:
In general: Where does the inspiration for your character's come from?
Everywhere. They take me by surprise really. Sometimes I think I’m done, and won’t come up with one more single solitary idea, then poof. Next thing ya know, I’m driving through Sonoma, watching vineyards go by.
Would you ever consider writing for another fandom (ie Supernatural)?
I wrote ONE outtake for Supernatural... kinda... it’s more like, a crossover that some of us chatted about on FB, about the Dick and the Winchester Brothers... so yeah, that was fun... I would absolutely LOVE to write a Hunger Games story except that, I can’t seem to do it.... they were “real” people as opposed to “vampires” - I don’t know why that matters to my subconscious... but it does. But yeah, loved that one... and maybe Buffy.
Is there a ff story out there you would like to see have a sequel that currently does not?
Hmmmm.... That currently does NOT... Gosh, you know what? There isn’t. The stories I’m in love with have all ended perfectly in my opinion and I don’t feel that aching need to see them go on with another full story... now, outtakes? That’s another story. :D
How does reading/writing ff affect your real life and how do you balance that, what boundaries do you place?
I came to a very happy compromise with hubby quite a while ago. I am not online at night and I am not online on the weekends, now that he’s got a job where he’s off during those periods of time, we do family stuff and I’ve really enjoyed it. I miss my online buddies and sometimes itch like crazy to write, but mostly, it’s been fantastic disconnecting from all the cray cray and re-connecting with my girls and the hub-meister.
What is in your CD/itunes player and your 5 favorite albums?
There is everything in my iPhone that you could think of.... but top 5? “Howlin’ for You”, “Are you gonna be my girl”, “Vagabond”, “I will rise up” and “Personal Jesus”... those songs may or may not have anything to do with the Masens. Just sayin’.
Crooked Smile has some questions for The Dick: (oy.)
Does it hurt staying always hard? Assuming being a private investigator requires you to remain... tough.
Kim. *cocks an eyebrow* I would think, of all fucking people, you’d know the answer to that goddamn question my friend.
We know you like to trace soft curves with hard steel. Any more dangerous games you like to play in bed?
Simon fucking says? With said hard steel... *smirks*
I show Jo my undying gratitude for creating you daily. What's your ways to make it up to her? Anything juicy?
*eyeballs Jo* Let’s put it this way... that woman is never wanting for a little... finger action, if ya know what I’m sayin’. *wiggles fingers for Kim as he winks*
We all know that you are good at handling fucked up situations and knocking the hell out of motherfuckers when it's necessary. Considering your talent in this area, I'd like to know what's your favorite position. Don't cock that eyebrow, it's totally related.
*cocks the motherfucking eyebrow... just ‘cause Kim said not to* Fave position would have to fucking be... Swan against a wall, preferably the shower... saves time ya know... holdin’ her hips, bitin’ some nipplage... lettin’ some fingers do the walkin’... if ya know what I mean... workin’ the angles... it’s all about the goddamn angles.... and makin’ that woman cum like she’s never cum before. It’s hard ya know... toppin’ that experience every time, but it’s fucking doable, Kim. It is fucking doable. *winks*
Now for some fun questions:
What is something about your RL self that would surprise those who know you in the fandom?
I’m a delicate flower. No just kidding. But seriously... Um... I’m in a book club and have been a room mom for my girls since they each started Kindergarten. Scary, right?
If you were stuck on an island what is the one thing you would take and who is the one person you would take?
The one THING would prolly be a laptop... so I can communicate. There’s wireless on this island, right? And the one person would be hubby. For reals. If you’d have said 3 people, it would be hubby and the little who’s. ;)
Okay, now in your fantasy world, if you were stuck on an island what is the one thing you would take and who is the one person you would take?
LOL! okay.... this would be, warming lotion and the Dick. MMM HMMM.
What did you do with all of your free time before Twilight?
I cleaned. A lot. I’m a clean freak. Also, we went out more then... that was also pre-kids, so we partied like it was our birf-days a lot. Flew up North to see the family and … went to see a LOT of movies. Exciting, yes?
What is your favorite color?
What part of the male body are you most drawn to visually?
Eyes. Definitely eyes.
What is the most surprising thing you have found in the Twilight fandom?
Most surprising would have to be, hands down, the ridiculous amount of immaturity... backstabbing (aren’t we adults?) and negativity... You really wouldn’t think there’d be so much of that, considering how ridiculously happy these books made so many people. I’m floored every time I see it. It’s sad.
Awesome thing that has happened this month.
I was named Author of the Month by this fucking fantastic group of ladies called “The Twi Girls Next Door” - and OH! I won some Giggle Snorts!!! OMG! *still can’t believe that*
Thank so much for spending time with us this month!
If you haven't read any of Jo-Jo's fics, go give them a read and make sure to leave her lotsa lovins!